You are likely to meet her inside her car, probably a Vitz , where she would be sulking and cursing in traffic. Beyonce’s Irreplaceable will be playing over and over again as she constantly nods as if there is a rotating bearing in her neck.
She could be that woman who even shrubs her name. More often than not, she has an otherwise kawaida look. She prefers calling you late at night.
You can have her and still keep your wife, you could even join the same ‘Bible Study Group’ as you’ll have an excuse to give to your wife the phone when she calls at some ungodly hour.
The slay queen
Most haven’t celebrated their 30th birthday. Their social media pages are always flooded with photos and stories of drinking escapades and ‘posh lives.’ Do not be fooled.
Most are in ‘sponsorship programmes,’ which come to a halt the moment wrinkles appear on their foreheads. If you are in dire need of an investment option, the slay queen is hasara bin hu!
The born tao
Usually a mjuaji from Kawangware, Uthiru or Kangemi, where she has been holed up all her life, yet she will convince you she’s from Westlands.
She has seen and heard it all and cannot be easily duped.
The party animal
She has an emaciated look due to swilling copious amounts of hard drinks. Fridays mean the world to her and weekends are to die for as alcohol will always find its way to her throat.
Alcohol brands don’t matter. Going out means loud music and returning home at 5am. She dances a lot when not screaming “thitima!”