Mwangi Luke
Mwangi Luke
Fraud,Politics and entertainment Blogger with over 4 years experience in this field


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Types of women you will meet in Nairobi

Miss Independent

You are likely to meet her inside her car, probably a Vitz , where she would be sulking and cursing in traffic. Beyonce’s Irreplaceable will be playing over and over again as she constantly nods as if there is a rotating bearing in her neck.

Husband snatcher

She  could be that woman  who  even  shrubs  her  name. More  often  than  not,   she    has   an  otherwise  kawaida look. She prefers calling you late  at night.

You can have her and  still  keep  your  wife, you could even join the  same  ‘Bible  Study  Group’  as you’ll   have  an  excuse to  give   to  your  wife  the phone when  she calls at some ungodly hour.

The slay queen

Most haven’t celebrated their 30th birthday. Their  social  media  pages  are  always  flooded  with  photos  and  stories  of  drinking  escapades  and  ‘posh  lives.’ Do  not  be  fooled.

Most are in   ‘sponsorship  programmes,’  which  come  to  a  halt  the  moment  wrinkles  appear  on  their  foreheads. If you are in dire need of an investment option, the slay queen is hasara bin hu!

The born tao

Usually a mjuaji from Kawangware, Uthiru or Kangemi, where she has been holed up all her life,  yet  she  will  convince  you she’s from Westlands.

She  has  seen  and  heard  it  all  and  cannot  be  easily  duped.

The party animal

She  has an  emaciated  look   due  to swilling copious  amounts  of  hard drinks. Fridays  mean  the  world  to  her  and  weekends  are  to  die  for  as alcohol  will  always  find  its  way  to  her throat.

Alcohol brands don’t matter.  Going out means loud music and returning home at 5am. She dances a lot when not screaming “thitima!”

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